There is always so much going on, isn’t there? There is work to be done, errands to run, people to contact, blah, blah, blah. So, so much.
In the midst of all of the busy-ness, it can be very difficult to figure out how to start on your journey toward peace or where to find your path. The noise makes it difficult to listen for the clues. But I might have just a little light to shine here, and it’s all because I suck at meditation. Seriously. Talk about a happy accident . . .
In meditation recently, I was trying desperately to be still. To breath. To focus on breath.
I was failing. Miserably. I could tell that it just wasn’t going to work for me. So instead of trying to focus on breath, I decided to focus on the chaos that was filling my head. On what was preventing me from finding my center.
So I imagined myself in a room that was full of feathers flying all around me, and the more I tried to move toward what I hoped would be an exit, the more I disturbed the feathers. Take one step and more feathers flew. Two steps and even more stirred. I was moving fast in a direction without even knowing if a door was there, and the feathers swirled relentlessly around my head. But I knew that I wanted to find that door because, in my mind, the chaos feathers were blocking my way to finding the way out. But I couldn’t see a door for all of the damned feathers.
Even in the scenario that was playing out in my head, I was getting frustrated. Meditation is supposed to be peaceful, for crying out loud! I really was taking meditation fail to all new levels. So, I finally decided to picture myself as just still and to try and focus on breath again.
And then it happened. The feathers started slowly drifting toward the ground. One. Two. Ten. Fifty. Hundreds. Eventually, most had landed on the ground. Finally, with only a few feathers bravely floating at knee level, I looked up. And I found that I was in a room made of glass. I could see through every single wall. And outside was beautiful and green and calm, and I so wanted to be there. And then I saw the door. I finally had a direction and knew where I needed to go.
So I quickly started to move toward the door, and all of a sudden the feathers were flying again. So I stopped again. When they settled, I took one small, deliberate step toward the door. Feathers stirred again, but not as many. I took another small step. The same. Three or four steps later, I was closer to the door.
Then the meditation instructor said something, and suddenly the feathers were flying again. But I still felt calm. The moment of clarity, that moment of peace, had offered a glimpse of the path I needed to take and what I had to do to get there. I had a direction. The door wouldn’t move. They key would be to stop trying to best the chaos. Instead, the change has to come from me, and I have to be deliberate in the steps I take, how quickly and to where. In my mind, that is my path to peace and contentment.
Really, isn’t that just life’s journey? We often are so busy, or so distracted, or in such a hurry, that we can’t see past the feathers. They block our view and our way toward what our hearts truly need. Maybe it’s time that we all just take a seat and let the feathers land so that we can get a glimpse of possibility and the way for us to meet it.